On a plane, (well two, actually) headed to YOW for a gathering of the women of my family. We’re a pretty independent bunch: each of us strewn across the country, literally coast to coast. We don’t see each other often: we don’t need to. We’re not built like that, choosing instead to forge our own paths in our own spaces. We do talk often.
I relish the independence, and find the biggest struggle comes in the readjustment period when we first get together. It’s not so much with the matriarch, as she is in a home now, and very definitely embracing her seventh stage. It’s more with my own mother: having been so independent and lived apart for so long I don’t adjust well to being mothered. And that’s a hell of an understatement.
Instead, I take on the role of nurturer, mother, caregiver. It’s me that gets things done, efficiently and quickly.
Perhaps this trip will be different? Perhaps we will find the roles slowly reversing between my mother and I, as we both age. As we are all three of us fiercely protective of our independence and self direction, I highly doubt anyone is going to take any direction from anybody. Then again, I haven’t seen them in over two years, so anything could happen.
Is it fair to say I am not yet sure if I am excited? That I am more trepidacious than confident? That, battling bone-crushing fatigue and busy schedules, I am very definitely not at my best?
In the meantime, I am forced into relaxation and down time: time to sip cups of tea, and return to writing here. Ironically I have to really work at relaxing. Perhaps when I begin to relax, I will begin to find the butterflies again.
Another Gluten Free Foodie 
An interesting piece that motivates me to respond with a few comments of my own – invited or not!
Consider if you will, trying to make your thoughts and writings not to be all about you. These rare occasions when the three of you get together should be considered as an opportunity/gift. Look for and celebrate your commonalities, shared heritage and life experiences. Engage in conversation and thought focussed upon the present and their future rather than re-living/dwelling upon your past.
You talk about trepidation and battling bone crushing fatigue and a busy schedule but consider for a moment that each and every mother before you has gone through similar moments of fatigue and busy schedules – each in their own very unique way. Afterall it is you that chooses to lead a busy life. Thank god that you are still young and energetic enough to live through such frenetic times and aren’t your boys lucky!
Stating the obvious, you only have one mother and sadly only one grandmother still alive.Time for all is passing quickly so please seize the few precious moments that you have with all three of you to enjoy each others company, thoughts and love. Dedicate your time together to making whatever contribution you can towards making their lives today, tomorrow and into the future better for them.
Upon landing in YOW, get up from your seat, full of tea and hopefully some rest, and rise to the challenge ahead of you. You are more than capable and I have not a shadow of doubt that you will come home refreshed and grateful for such an opportunity.
All my love, Dad.
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