The Scots call it Hogmanay – Gala day, or New Years’.  It holds a special place in my heart  because I am one of those people that buy in to the fresh starts, new beginnings, and yes, even resolutions for a new year.  I believe in the power of a “new day, with no mistakes in it” (Sorry for the rough translation, Lucy Maude Montgomery)

And boy oh boy, do we need a fresh start and a new beginning!

2019 can officially fuck off.  It was a terrible year, highlighted with too many hospital visits, accidents, and irrevocable family drama.  We had some amazing high points, don’t get me wrong, but overall, I have never been more eager or impatient for a new year.

(I do know how lucky we are – most, if not all of our 2019 issues were solved with an impeccable Canadian medical system, and the power of insurance.  That is to say that we are lucky enough to live in Canada, and can afford the insurance required for things like replacing stolen cars and fixing broken bodies.  And I know these remain mainly first-world problems:  we are not fighting for our lives, we are not subsistence-living.  We are still okay.)

That being said, I am looking for a change.  I want to improve my health, and I always wanted to complete a triathlon, so I have signed up for one in the fall. (Just a sprint, but still!)  I want to approach the downward slope towards fifty with energy, strength and longevity.

I want to write more.  My aim is to post more frequently to this blog – it not only improves my writing, but provides me with a little forced meditative time.  I need to practice better self-care, and writing is one outlet.

I also want to do less with more intention:  it is so easy to get caught up in the vacuum of “busy” without taking time for the moment;  to be more proactive and less reactive.  It has always been hard for me to sit still, and my “busy” has become like a nervous tic.  It is harder for me to just sit still than anything else.

And I really, really want 2020 to be better.  I want clarity of vision, calmer intention and a happier year.  I want to take a lot of the old habits and trade them in for more healthy, mindful ones that provide more peace.  (Did I mention how shit 2019 turned out to be?)

So please accept one more new years’ post about resolutions and intention, and know that it comes from the depth of my soul, and deep in my heart; from a place looking for better; quality not quantity, and depth.

Haud Hogmanay!