You accused me last night of |(why?) waiting to come forward, for waiting fourteen years for detailing sexual improprieties, rape,  decades of systemic patriarchal abuse within every single working system I have ever been a part of.   You accused me of not being forthright, of not telling my best friend their deepest, darkest secrets in a course of fourteen years.

And why not?

Because it was hard.

Because you bought into the system that allowed the inappropriate behavior towards girls and women.  Because certain behaviors were okay in some spheres and not in others.  Because I have only just begun to fully understand and digest what it is that I went through in my twenties, and what I should have done, versus what I did do.  Because, given the option of a choice, I would have done it differently.

Because, to a certain degree, I wear it for everyone.  Which isn’t fair, but is reality.

Because, in my forties, I am loud and unapologetic.

Because, now you coin the #methree movement:  the antithesis to the #metoo movement, as a counterpoint for men who have (seemingly) not added to the problem but are being persecuted just the same.

Because you fail to see you are part of the problem by your actions.

 

And that I will speak when I am ready, how I am ready….the same as you.